The practice of slow cooking turnips in the poo-poo place partially explains the assinine, mean behavior of the 'sales class,' as I call them Republican's (they've sold out their humanity, and don't even know it... a lot of times, at least; the best of them are ruled by ancient supersticions, while the rest of them use religion as a way of communicating their morality to the masses, whether they believe in the
alleged' zombie jesus or not.. I mean, they look at a democracy as a mass of people to manipulate with lies and deciet, as was so apparent in all them attack ad's this year).
I was just reading a great history book, THE WAY OF THE BUT, and was reminded that they also keep large turnips in their rectums; a very ancient and perverse way of slowing cooking them that dates back to that great turnip promoter -- who was no other than Eleanor Roosevelt. Some historians think the pained look on her face in most pictures is because she was 'cooking turnips, as they say...
A little side note, in the Log Cabin Republican community anal sex is still often referred to as 'cooking turnips,' though often no actual turnips are involved (or they are those fake, plastic turnips, which can be removed whenever, instead of the ten days it takes to cook a turnip).
George Bush of course is the most renkown 'turnip but,' as they call themselves... He uses extra large turnips secretly developed by the Rand Corporation to get the rock star W all passionate for his speaches -- I hear he has one of the tightest asses in washinton and gets so excited by the pain it causes him to command a group of gay men the cia has captured -- they are of killed afterwards, to keep everything out of the media. This last tidbit I found out one night when W. and me was doing some shrooms -- he had my phone bugged and found out I bought the magic shrooms and sent in a swat team to get me. The jesus-addled silver spooner also had them search my house to make sure I wasn't holding out on him and they totally trashed the place... that Damn M. thinks I took all the shrooms and them me and the dog did it while playing fetch -- she doesn't even believe W. does all this shit.
Bush is careful to keep her in the dark, sends in undercover agents to her work, where they slip her some tasteless 'roofie' in her coffe -- some shit that I guess he spent millions and millions to have that developed... and you can bet this is part of why the Whores keep disappearing in Washington, and every city he visits on his speaking tours --even places he only stays for like an hour reported six to thirteen of these crusty cum holes goes missing... anyways, back to M.... Her ignorant opinion drives me so craxzy that I have to take a walk around the block sometimes to cool down -- and you can bet I take my guns and blow away a few of the crack sellers down on the corner, or someone who stops on the crosswalk (I always take Ruby Dog with me on these kills but even this has not been enough to get that dog to take my commands to murder folks... she thinks she has to greet and make friends with everyone she meets -- there is an upside to even that, I suppose... when she lunges at people to give them a kiss her icy blue eyes and wolfish look scare the hell out them, give her 'roofies' and then take have this hypnotist make her forger).
I don't understand why M. questions me so on this shit... I mean when you're telling this shit to M., you might as well be talking to a wall -- a wall that smacks you with a rolled up newspaper and screams 'No, Bad artist!! Bad Artist! No!"
Once more I am stunned that I have fallen deeply in love with a woman with such an overly sceptical nature!!!!
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