A lot changed when the Bush Monarchy took over the world and the rich moved to the moon (finally answering the question of why they didn't mind polluting it all those years -- they'd been planning on moving to the moon for hundreds of years, and considered the environmental destruction of earth 'a jolly good joke on the disgusting, smelly masses).' No more wars, no explotation, no working sewer systems, and few jobs... luckily, with the rich gone, the mechanical types easily created machines to do all the work so mankind could spend more time exploring such subjects as daytime telvision soap operas.
Some god's were so appalled by Bush that they tried to stop the family from taking over the world and putting a monarchy back in place. . .
Ralph was among them. They lost and as losers were kind of just left on earth forgotten. A lot of god's perished outright that day, as people faced down the environmental catastrophe and cursed them. Ralph was lucky in that he was the primary weed connection for one of the young members of his church, or he might have been cursed away as well. Cursed away entails
of course being sent to the nethers, where nothing is substantial unless the god's make it -- which is a lot more work than Ralph wants to do on any given day.
As per Ralph's rather slipshod godding, they had barely escaped from the Mormon's and were in a bus at a very high rate of speed, blowing through red lights and ignoring signs... at first, whenever a cop got on thier tale, Ralph was killing them in spectacular flame filled accidents, until Mugily protested that they were just doing their job. After some grumbling about how the human population was causing suffering to the penguin, who Ralph made clear were to be reverred as 'nature's goddamn clown, man!', he finally just started sending the cops across state.
Ralph was no great driver in the best of times, and as he flew down the highway at 120 he was also drinking a beer and rolling a joint and peeing into a cup. Mugily was gettig quite sick of crasing and having to be resurrected and healed, as were they all.
"Ralph, there is no need to go this fast. The Mormon's are never going to catch us."
"Oh, I'm not worried about them. I'm just kind of getting off on driving fast."
"You know, that is fine for someone who is impervious to pain, Ralph, but when us humans die, that shit hurts. I mean, you reattached my head three times today.... and I'm going to puke if I see my intestines splattered on another road. Seriously."
"Man, I should fucking smite you for pissing on my buzz. In fact get out ..."
"No, not the scripture..."
"Hey, you are the fucking scribe of a god, have some respect."
"Okay, don't give me a second asshole or something... "
"A second asshole, eh?"
A shout of surprise from Kibo in the back made clear to Mugily that the temptation of surprising someone with a second asshole had been too much for the god.
"Oh, let their asses be, dear lord, Ralph."
"Don't get sarcastic with me. Uh, oh... looks like a gas truck up ahead. Get ready to fry boy... "
"Noooo.... ahhhh... ugh, ugh... huh..."
Once Ralph resurrected and healed everyone, including the truck (which took him mere seconds), Mugily was once more sitting in the front seat, staring down at the road pouring into the windsheild, dreading his next death... when Ralph suddenly spied a sign for strawberry pie and changed the truck into a helicopter which kind of zig zagged over farm houses and fields before smashing into the parking lot of a small country restaurant. After resurrecting and healing everyone, they all sat down to some scruptious pie, and none could help but thank Ralph for the particularly tasty strawberry's, and while he was quick to accept their praise, he had nothing to do with it...
