life isn't always what you think it is, is it?
i wish i could revert back to being 10 years old.
young; naive; sheltered;
life was filled with mud pies and tree houses.
boys still had cooties and my dad was gonna be done drinking soon.
my nana always knew what to do and always made right choices.
bills didn't really cost that much.
kisses would mean "i love you"
i didn't get zits or have bad-hair days.
i didn't have to worry about the rest of my life
i wasn't ashamed to not know the answer.
the "cigarettes" my dad rolled really were made with tobacco.
no one asked me about the future.
(i can't describe how much i despise that word)
gasoline was magically created inside the gas tank.
i didn't care what size clothes i wore or how much i weighed.
i didn't care that much about what others thought of me.
i didn't think too much.
i didn't worry about that much.
i didn't cry about that much.
but i'm not 10 anymore...
those things aren't real anymore...
i'm older now.
older and wiser? i'm not so sure of that.
but life is not what i thought it was.
now
i think too much.
i worry too much
i cry too much.
but isn't that just all part of being grown up?
can i opt out of that???
