I need a fucking trainer! My horse sucks, and I'm a big baby. I know I shouldn't be, but when she practically rears up on top of you and kicks out and just barely misses, it's hard not to be. I think I need a fucking trainer! I need to go to boot camp; I need someone to toughen me up.
My brother can lunge her, and he's only 12. He's so good at it too! For those of you who don't know what lunging is, it's a way of exercising your horse. Basically you stand in the middle as your horse jogs or lops around you, as you hold the lead line in one hand and whip in the other to drive the horse from behind. Like I said, I'm scared of her and my brother isn't. He doesn't have good sense really, but in this case it's a good thing I think that he's fearless.
The horse can sense it. She knows I'm a softy, and she knows my brother doesn't love her, he's just gunna make her do it. I hate feeling inferior like this. She's my horse and I swear, tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and not care; not care if I get hurt lunging her, not care if she rears up and almost kills me. I'm going to show her who's fucking boss!
So, as you can tell, I'm a little pissed off... but it'll get better, hopefully. Hopefully I'll learn, as we go, and hopefully she'll learn, as we go. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I'm going to be fearless, 'cuz that's my resolve.
☼Sarah
