My family trip to Uranus was an excellent one! I am not sure if it could be considered a family trip when the rest of your family spent the whole time in captivity, but I’ll get to that. It started off normally enough, but soon became memorable. As we took off in our ship called “The Rocket 600” I started to feel uneasy about our grand adventure ahead. As the six legged alien flight attendant (who resembled Brittany Spears) passed my seat I asked for a glass of water. She returned promptly with my drink, yellow, I guess this was maybe a new type of space water? As I took a sip, it occurred to me that this “water” was also warm! After this mistake I decided not to eat anything more on the trip except for meals I have “prepared” on my own. We made a short rest stop one the moon, I hunted for llamas to “play” with but the only llamas on the moon live on wildlife reserves. These llamas had the most ridiculous helmets strapped on their heads, in the shape of toilets. I guess they were for air, or maybe when you pushed the button it would produce the llama’s mating call, but they were ugly, and I was not attracted to these llamas. We boarded the ship again, heading for Uranus. After a 6.5 hour-long trip we landed on Uranus. I was truly dismayed when I saw the condition of Uranus, all full of craters and you were wrong if you thought Mars was the red planet. Arriving on the planet I was not about to forget the business reasons I came here for. My mission was to save all of the weeds and the peanut plants (an important industry for the people of Uranus). I immediately set up a watering system to help these little guys grow. I also started to distribute loads of fertilizer (another abundant resource of Uranus). The plants instantly started growing. My work here was finished! All I have left to do is sit back and relax. I was enjoying this when all of a sudden the ground started rumbling, the terrified villagers ran out of their homes screaming “AHHH it’s a gas attack”! Uranus erupted with violent explosions and the whole planet was divided. After the vibrations from the after shocks were finished I wanted to find my family. I found them cowering under a giant brown rock. This is when I decided to take over the planet Uranus; I’ve always wanted to rule something. Everyone was rounded up and bound using uranium handcuffs. The people agreed to work for me and the ones who didn’t agree were shot on sight, or thrown into the giant planet-separating crack. All the men were ordered to the Northern half of the planet and the women were ordered to the Southern half. This would stop the creatures from reproducing too rapidly. If they wanted to be together again they would have to somehow plug the crack. The wretched critters immediately started plugging the crack. This worked to their disadvantage. They ended up trapping the gas. I noticed this and ordered my slaves to fire up my rocket ship. Just as I took off I looked out the window and noticed the whole planet blowing up! Whew what a blast! I am safe. I returned to planet Earth as if nothing had happened.
Aunt Jamima & Capt. Cornbread
10-4 Over and out
