Stardock, you my boys, alright? I wrote a little something down there, and it's going to sound critical, because it is. But that's all it is, just criticism. It's written out of the honest frustration of playing GalCiv2, and it's all meant in good fun.
So please don't ban me. The flames of the uber-loyal fans will surely suffice as punishment.
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Stardock: The Deli
*door jingles*
Clerk: Welcome to Stardock! What can I make for you today?
Me: My, but you're friendly. Uh, yeah, I'll have a Galactic Civilizations II on rye. Is cheese extra?
Clerk: No, sir, I should think not. We here at Stardock never change extra for those kinds of things.
Me: Great! Make it with everything then.
Clerk: Aaaand here you are! Enjoy!
Me: Thanks a ton, this looks…uh…. There doesn't seem to be any cheese in here.
Clerk: Nope, it hasn't been put in yet. But you go ahead and start eating; we plan to have your cheese in just a few minutes, no charge. Enjoy!
Me: Um… alright, then. Mmm. You know, this still a pretty good sandwich.
Clerk: Glad you like it! Here, lemme open that up for a second. Here's some tomatoes, we think you’ll like them. Enjoy!
Me: Uh, I'm allergic to tomatoes.
Clerk: Oooh. Well, eat around them for now, then. I'll have someone by to take them out in less than a minute. No charge. None! Enjoy!
Me: …. Okay. Say, is there anything you can do about the music in this place? “The Girl from Ipanema” has been playing for, like, ten minutes now.
Clerk: You want I should turn it off?
Me: No, you don't have to do that. Just, how about another song or something?
Clerk: Ah…. No. Sound system’s broke. Going to have it fixed by the end of the week, though. No charge. Until then, feel free to bring your ipod in here. Then you can listen to anything you want! Enjoy!
Me: Stop saying that. How's the cheese coming?
Clerk: About that: The guy who's coming to fix the sound system? Same guy who's bringing the cheese. End of the week, you'll be all set. Cheese, music, the works! Plus, we're putting together some great ideas for an expansion sandwich.
Me: Expansion sandwich?! What about *this* one? There's no cheese, there's unwanted tomatoes. This isn't finished. *You sold me a largely hypothetical sandwich!*
Clerk: But it's going to *become* the sandwich of your dreams by the time we're through with it, and all at no extra charge!
Me: And just when will you through with it?
Clerk: Pfft-- Who can know that? Maybe never.
Me: That's it! I'm out! Keep the sandwich!
*door jingles*
Clerk: Jeez, what crawled up that guy's butt?
*'The Girl from Ipanema' plays*
*Clerk dances*
END