I agree with a lot you said, although HEEGZ did mention a valid point regarding strategy. Play on tough before making calls on what the AI does. Don't take that to mean I am trying to invalidate your experience (I hate it when people do that) just that it does make a significant difference to play..... e.g.

In most cases the game is won or lost in the first few turns. If you can secure five planets right away you will almost certainly win. Four or less and you will have a tough road to travel.

Obviously this greatly depends on what settings you are running. On a medium map, with everything set to rare and 8 other civs.... you'll get 2 planets at most and games are only won or lost then through getting attacked and killed by the AI, or finding some way to stop them doing that! e.g. On a gigantic map, 5 planets will make you a minor race.... especially without referrence to the quality of those planets.

Long term success lies in the economics and diplomacy. I have formulated a basic tech plan I follow which I pursue through research and through trading with the other races for those techs.

Long term success doesn't matter much if the Yor are your neighbours and they research planetary invasion while you are developing your economy to a fair clip! I found moving up to Tough that I started researching weapons a LOT earlier and playing more of a trading game to get some of the economic techs - here diplomacy helps, but again you didnt really comment on racial abilities.

I kind of like the idea of not always starting out on equal footing. At the start of some games you might be the one civ who grabs more than a fair share of systems, while in others you might just be the underdog who's left to scrounging for all the table scraps you can get eventually digging yourself out of that hopelessness. If this is the case it makes for excellent strategizing! As the underdog, or fledging empire at the start of a game, you'll have to more fully utilize diplomacy and quickly make friends with the big dog who can watch out for you while you grow, or even convince that friend to go to war for you so that you can have a piece of the pie. Then, because you're running with the big dogs for the moment, you might better secure a chance to swipe a few extra planets from the table scraps that they leave behind, thus expanding your backyard a little more.

On the other hand, starting out with numerous planets while your opponents have but few you might try taking advantage of the fact quickly making use of your good fortune by hurriedly constructing and researching military tactics, then shoving that weight around.

If the game starts out with all civs on fair footing as far as providing equally distributed planets, then it's a touch and go sort of strategy until somebody rises in the ranks. Again, strategy is key here. By having various starting points, some good while others are bad, makes for exciting gameplay. Are you the underdog, the fledging empire trying to get a hold in the galaxy, or perhaps you're the equal opportunist with an equal amount of systems to manage who waits on the sidelines secretly plotting how to conquer, or befriend your neighbors, or just maybe you're that imediate powerhouse who can shove their weight around from the get-go, but at what terrible costs to morale and galactic civility are you willing pay--tyrant, or hero?

If all games started their civilizations on equal footing there'd be no real initial conflict, or creativity in how to approach each particular conquest. I find it extremely entertaining having to imagine my empire as the nobody of the galaxy, refusing to succumb to the bully tactics of other races while nurturing my empire to fruition until the time comes when I can go forth and conquer. So therefore, the made dash to secure as many planets as possible is truly one of the better aspects, I think at least, of the game. Like trying to get in a good position at the firing of the starting pistol, but even should you fall behind a little or a lot, there's always those later laps when you can kick it in and surpass the challenge. And how much sweeter the prize!

It's all in the imagination folks and how we choose to use it.

Some AIs do get stuck in a corner and don't do much but that's the AI. Doesn't happen to me since I usually find a way out. If you like to have EVEN start, try the custom maps, they are mostly mirrored so everyone has the same starting oppertunities. But be warned, the even start is the most game breaking thing you can have! The AI will simply not keep up with the player because the player already knows what to expect everywhere.